Style Satirist Pillows

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

"We took everything that was nice and got rid of it."

'Compliments of the management,sir.'

"Be honest: Does this shirt make me look like a blockhead?"

Stay at home

"Hey! If you're gonna use the ladies tee that skirt goes below the knees. And lose the tank top, mister."

"Pant height = √belt ÷ age²"

'and you're sure this will stop the underweight models getting on the catwalk?' - Cattlegrid on catwalk

'A bit longer at the back please.'

'You want to attain enlightenment in that shirt?'

Do you have one in extra frumpy?

"Oh God, beards are so passe."

Distressed Clothing Fashion Shop

"Nope...your 'Comb Over Ponytail' still isn't trending."

"My opinion? The back hair comb-over isn't fooling anyone."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"You're fired."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Torturing the English Language

Trump pardons

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

UK border controls relaxed.

No-Work Orange

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

CIA report