Sword-wielding Investor Pillows

'Great. Now that I've got a better idea of your tolerance for risk, I have a few investments to recommend.'

Lady of the bath...

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

Epic Battles

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

In/Out

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

The Stock Market.

Pub Kendo.

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Corporate pirate.

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Sawrd Fighting

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

King Richard I

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

The strong corna war