Sword Swallowing Enthusiast Pillows

"Well, Giovanni. . . you probably wouldn't have bad breath if you remembered to remove cutlery and leftovers when you've finished with them."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

Epic Battles

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

Pub Kendo.

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Swords for Making America Great Again

Scheduel.

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Fencing Lessons

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Battle.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.