Swordfighter Pillows

"Hey, check it out. Number 11. Now let's make an X. Then a T. Isn't this fun?"

Sword Fight

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

Epic Battles

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

How Swordfish Are Born

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Corporate pirate.

Pub Kendo.

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

'After A Knights Hard Day'

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.

Scheduel.

Swords for Making America Great Again

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

The strong corna war

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Fencing Lessons