Sword Swallower Gifts

'It's short cut pastry - I'm allergic to cold steel.'

'Occupation?'

Lady of the bath...

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Epic Battles

How Swordfish Are Born

Decapitated coffee.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But I use all of them!"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Corporate pirate.

King Richard I

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

The strong corna war

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Battle.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

"...But guess what Kevin's mother is doing for a living?"

"Did you enter the correct password?"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

'As a typically observant medical provider, the extremely high levels of iron in your system have me quite puzzled.'

Fencing Acupuncture.