Knife Swallower Gifts

"Swallow two band aids and call me in the morning."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

"More?"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

Knife-thrower.

Swiss Knife With Computer Cursor

'It's short cut pastry - I'm allergic to cold steel.'

Looking Daggers

'May I remind you that this patient is a very successful lawyer specializing in medical malpractice?'

Swiss excalibur...

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.

'Occupation?'

Swiss Army General.

"This is a silencerfor my dagger..."

"Who's going to carve?"

A Grim Reaper knife thrower not missing his target.

Dennis's fear of sharp objects was well founded on his recent trip down memory lane."

Surgeons using a Swiss Army Knife.

Knife splits newly weds on wedding cake

Never Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight

'Hmm, you assistant is over here.'

'I don't know what it is but those tusks would make beautiful knife handles.'

"Throwing a knife pretty well is a long way from being a surgeon."