Knife Swallower Pillows

"Swallow two band aids and call me in the morning."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

Knife-thrower.

Looking Daggers

'May I remind you that this patient is a very successful lawyer specializing in medical malpractice?'

Swiss Knife With Computer Cursor

'It's short cut pastry - I'm allergic to cold steel.'

Swiss excalibur...

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

"This is a silencerfor my dagger..."

Circus Billy Blades

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.

Dennis's fear of sharp objects was well founded on his recent trip down memory lane."

A Grim Reaper knife thrower not missing his target.

Knife splits newly weds on wedding cake

'Occupation?'

'I don't know what it is but those tusks would make beautiful knife handles.'

Swiss Army General.

'Hmm, you assistant is over here.'

Surgeons using a Swiss Army Knife.

Never Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight

"Throwing a knife pretty well is a long way from being a surgeon."