Swing Slinger Gifts

"Don't worry...with his swing, this is the safest place to stand."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"This never happened."

Swinging

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

It can be taken up at any age....

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

Meet the author

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Swing

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Where's my horse?'

For sale - Used only Once.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Freedom

Automatic swing machine

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

A bride and a groom on a swing

Whatever!

Thursday is the new Friday

Stone henge swing.

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"