Guitar Slinger Gifts

Tom Waits.

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Meet the author

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

'Nobody pays for music anymore.'

Freedom

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

Whatever!

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.

Pianist-boxer

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

Skywriter's Block

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

"You're a writer? But what do you do for money?"

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

"I'm very highly strung!"