Slang Slinger Gifts

Your English teacher says you use too many Americanisms.

"What the hell is a whippersnapper!?"

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

Teen Weather

J.D. Power & Associate

Why some people shouldn't try keeping up with slang. So, twerking hard or hardly twerking?

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

"...And it was, like, so bae I literally died."

The Wright Bruhs take their maiden flight.

Kibosh farmin'

'Oh please, talk to the hand is so last year!'

'Saying something is so not something else is the new saying something is the new something.'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

Meet the author

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Whatever!

Freedom

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.