Swing Mechanic Gifts

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"This never happened."

Swinging

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Not that slowly back...'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

Swing

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

'Where's my horse?'

A bride and a groom on a swing

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Automatic swing machine

Stone henge swing.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Let's give it a whirl. Swing is back!'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

Cab Calloway Swings

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Chris felt that, with diligence, he could teach Jack to hit a 1-iron by 11 months.