Swing Maestro Gifts

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

He lived and died for golf.

'They're all doctors. I hope the terrorists never hit us on a Wednesday afternoon.'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

Computer Music

No Bruch!

A dancing man wearing a red-striped top

Violinist.

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"

'It's always the same, isn't it, Dave?... Every time you spot a glitter ball!'

Lord of the Strings.

Thanks for being such a fabulous desk partner!

The violin lesson

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

Double Bass.

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

Niccolo Paganini

The Violin Artist

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

'I hate rainy days!'

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

Bad Violinist.

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

"Wrong driving range, dummy."

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

"Could you keep still?"

"One More Swing."