Swimming Sophisticate Gifts

'Come on in. The water's refined.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Mozart on a lilo

Lapdogs

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

The synchronized shower event.

Rip Taylor Tide

Stick with me, Mr. Fusco

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

No petting in the pool!

Yes, well, when you're grown up and king, your castle can have an indoor heated moat.

'When I said shock the pool, I meant with chlorine!'

Ducks following a child.

'Bank A' about to jump into to pool of competition followed by banks B and C

Motor Channel Crossing.

Convict Decor

Bill Shankland

"I highly recommend our featured red. With its markup, what waiter wouldn't?"

'Four million years and an amphibian crammed ashore and developed into homosapiens so I see no point whatsover to go back!'

"Well, some of us were synchronized."

Thank you for not drowning.

'Not that sort of pool party.'

"I rescue swimmers. He rescues phones dropped by swimmers."