Swimming Style Scholar Gifts

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

The Giamatti era

Too big to fail

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Baseball players and their qualifications.

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Lapdogs

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

Medical Student

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'Yessir! That's what I want to see around our company - innovation and the bravery to do things different!'

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

Rip Taylor Tide

No petting in the pool!

Bill Shankland

Motor Channel Crossing.

'Bank A' about to jump into to pool of competition followed by banks B and C

Thank you for not drowning.

'Not that sort of pool party.'

'I hope you don't think I invited you swimming just because you have a couple of webbed toes.'

Man reading 'how to swim' book whilst swimming.

'What do you mean stop him - he's become the main attraction.'

"You're collecting for the local swimming pool? - Here, this is for you...!"

'I always thought he was in great shape. I mean he swam constantly.'

'Frankly I think he's taking swimming with the dolphins too far.'

"Ignore that sign. It's okay."