Swim-a-lot Gifts

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

On holiday.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Pool attached to child's bed.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bring your own inflatable.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

'He lives for his holidays.'

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"Holy cow, Kenny, look at the size of that thing! It's huge, I tell ya'! And the teeth! The teeth!"

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"Privates Beach"

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"They're so like us."

Sunbathers.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Marco ..."

"Shake! Good Dog."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Fish snorkling above water.