Sweet-toothed Sage Gifts

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'See, Dad. I told you these gummy worms would work.'

Saguaro Cacti.

"Naw, mom says there ain't no candy corn seeds!"

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

"I have a really bad habit of beating myself up...and my addition to sweets is not helping matters."

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

'He was getting tetchy over the duopsony for the last sweeting.'

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

'If I can touch my toes I can touch dessert.'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

"It's not just his rapier wit that intimidates."

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

Country & High Brow.

'Okay,laugh - but I bet my jelly beans will grow as good as your green beans.'

'Which side of this cake is the left side?'

Festistive Devices

Broad Beans and Jelly Beans

"You can have the cherry - I'm on a diet."