Sweet Strategists Pillows

"Brilliant idea of yours,darling-only inviting no-sweet tooths!"

'I sent out for everything.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Dating the efficiency expert.

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

Bored Baker

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

Don't let your your evil twin be your wingman when trying to pick up a woman in a bar.

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

How to feel confident in love & war

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

"I married for contrast."

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."