Sweet Humorist Pillows

'You're lucky she didn't press charges. Never touch a woman eating ice cream.'

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Honest Vending

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

Barman In Love.

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Rude Snowpeople

Tunnel of Like.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Phoenix

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

Tooth fairy

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Dating in 2020

"Aperitif?"

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

Homophone Encounter

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Caterpillars in love

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."