Sweater Savior Gifts

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Romance

Nervous Oral Testing

"Is this about your raise?"

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

"It was a crime of fashion."

'We've passed into the fourth dimension, professor! And look, old socks as far as the eye can see!'

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

Academia in Winter

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

Weightlifting.

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

'I've tried everything. My skin is still as dry as an elephant's trunk.'

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

'Well this is awkward.'

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

Reindeer Sweater

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

'I'd like to return this sweater I knitted.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

Turtleneck Alternatives