Sweater Protector Gifts

"Please, Melissa, just give him your cashmere!"

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Christmas sweater alternatives

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Wow... What did you use for bait?'

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

'You've got me all wrong, baby. I don't want to touch your sweater...I want to eat it.'

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

Academia in Winter

"You can tell beaches are closed - there's less trash."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"It was a crime of fashion."

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

My tail's cold.

Keeping Warm

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

'You're overprotective, Mother.'

The Moth Menace.

We need a new project right now!!! What's the rush? Eco Club. The ice caps are melting, gas drilling is poisoning our water. It's an emergency! Plus

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

'Keep your money - fix the water.'

That's it. I'm killing that moth.

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

'Well this is awkward.'

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

Reindeer Sweater

"Looking for gold?"

How's the sweater coming along?

"Leo and I know how much you like your Christmas sweater, so we thought we'd make you one ourselves this year."

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."