Sweater Maker Pillows

"He won't wear the sweater I crocheted for him."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Romance

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

Cat walking dog.

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

Keeping Warm

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

Cut out and keep your own snowman.

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

'Well this is awkward.'

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

Reindeer Sweater

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

"Nothing like that first sweater of the season, 'ay Nance?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a cat. Why do you ask?"

Turtleneck Alternatives

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."