Swearword Scholar Pillows

"Ooops - I'm afraid that was my beer...wait a second whilst I consult my swearword consultant."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Meet The Author"

"She's been so creative lately."

First Novels.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Backfire

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Cut Price

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?