Swearword Scholar Pillows

"Ooops - I'm afraid that was my beer...wait a second whilst I consult my swearword consultant."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Edgar Allen Poe

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Cut Price

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Backfire

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?