Swashbuckling Chef Gifts

"I was in a different place then."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

Witch's Brew.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Stupid Microwave

Quartet of chefs.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Cook in the cookery section.

Amy Sedaris

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"Tastes great, less killing!"

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

'What the devil is that?

Artichoking victim

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

101 things to do with lutefisk.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'It's her signature dish.'

Baker

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."