Sustainable Food Sorcerer T-Shirts

"Organic frog, tongue of gluten free dog, wing of sustainable bat..."

Desert Island Meals.

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

The Velvet Mesquite

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Olive Oil

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I've been mutated into the strawberry field. Get me out now."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'My only consolation is that by eating us they're killing themselves.'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"OK, today, Bob, your team is on blackberry clearing at the Brown's farm, while Lisa, your team is on thistle clearing at the Barker's farm..."

"I can't see them replacing fish and chips."

'Never mind insecticides - now they think of us as protein.'

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

"Apparently we're reared by people who share the values of the people who eat us."