Sustainable Dater Gifts

"So you're looking for a fate who can reduce your carbon footprint?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Queen of Upcycling!

Online Dating

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

Today's love

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

'Let's do lunch.'

Online Dating for Dummies

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

We met online.

"You new personality that you downloaded off the Internet makes you irresistible."

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'That must be my computer date.'

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'I have to ask you this before I say yes to a date - you don't contribute to global warming very often, do you?'