Sustainable Dater Pillows

"So you're looking for a fate who can reduce your carbon footprint?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Queen of Upcycling!

Online Dating

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Today's love

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

We met online.

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

"You new personality that you downloaded off the Internet makes you irresistible."

Online Dating for Dummies

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

'That must be my computer date.'

'Let's do lunch.'

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'I have to ask you this before I say yes to a date - you don't contribute to global warming very often, do you?'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."