Digital Age Dater Pillows

"I broke up with him because he wouldn't let me use 'Leonardswifi' only 'Leonardswifi-Guest'."

"Hold on, it might be someone more interesting."

'You have beautiful pixels.'

"I think I can guess which couple has been together the longest."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Online Dating

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Today's love

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Let's do lunch.'

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

We met online.

'That must be my computer date.'

Online Dating for Dummies

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"You new personality that you downloaded off the Internet makes you irresistible."

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'We met online.'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'