Sustainability Comedy Fan Gifts

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Water company bonus.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Where's my global warming?

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

Paper Bath Towels.

'He's going to a better place . . . possibly to power an '86 jetta.'

"Okay, it's agreed, - if Trump gets elected we won't be heading south for the winter."

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

'Yeah we went for the hybrid car in the end. Margaret loves it.'

"Killing the environment with sackfuls of gift tat, i-gadgets, single-use packaging, and novelty socks - anything other than: 'Ho-Ho-Ho!' to add to your defense?"

Fake ecologist

Alternative Energy Beats Fossil Fuel

Well, good luck evolving, son, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! You know, like destroy the planet or something.

'You do realize you're polluting the world with that thing!'

"Oh boy, the forecast is "Freezing" today, and then "Deep Freeze" for the next two days..."

Gas Cow

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

Why China's carbon footprint is so large.

"The idea is simple. You pay us money and all your sins disappear! It's just like purchasing carbon offsets."

If Global Warming is a left wing plot...it's a very good one.

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

Firewood for Sale

"Wait - use a knife. It's greener."

"We installed the lights so the solar panels continue to work through the night."

It's admirable you do your bit to save the planet by wearing green undies, but let's not forget, they weren't green when you bought them!

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

Wind Farm

"There's sewage in the rivers, there's sewage in the lakes. We'd be right at home living in the country."

'You and your stupid hybrid getaway car!'

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

"With out new super-fast computers we can get the forecast wrong twice as fast as we used to!"