Survivalist Wannabe Gifts

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

'Thank-you God.'

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Emergency Phone.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Arf! Arf!'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Desert Island Mishap

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

Help! Send fishing tackle!

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'