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Man on Island

"So the message in a bottle was finally found. . . man, without my fantastic team I would have starved long ago!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

On day twenty nine, Dave decided that he would start to cut his way through the dense forest to find out more about the north side of the island.

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Look, we're all thirsty. You don't see me whining about it."

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

Need tickets.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

"Maybe we should follow that guy..."

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

No Loitering

"At least my putting has improved."

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

Eskimo in Igloo

A football is dropped to a man stranded on desert island

'How long shall we wait until we start eating each other?'

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

Spam.

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

"Your troubles are nearly over - straight ahead about ten miles."

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.