Surprise Candidate Pillows

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Cardiac Recovery.

"I don't like your application."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'They were all out of roses.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

Cardiac Recovery Unit (surprise party waiting around corner.)

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

'Tomato Surprise. Bean Surprise. Carrot Surprise. Why are you always so surprised when my garden produces?'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

Monk Parrot.

Can You Dance?

"Aw, so cute - scooter's running in his sleep again."

Shark Bomb

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

'If the election was held today, would you be surprised?'

"It's all fun and games until El Piñata strikes back."

'-with every bottle comes our free Jujitsu course!'

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

'Nope, honey... Not many Injuns out there today... Just one BIG one.'

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

"...as of noon today, we became a non-profit making organisation."

'£5000 overdrawn. . . Only kidding, but I did cure your hiccups.'

"For the right job, I'm happy to relocate anywhere."