Surprise Candidate Gifts

Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Cardiac Recovery.

"I don't like your application."

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'They were all out of roses.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

Cow's Surprise Party.

Cardiac Recovery Unit (surprise party waiting around corner.)

"No window, but on the plus side there's a gateway to another dimension behind the Lloveras print."

Woman finding jack-in-a-box in her saucepan.

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

'Tomato Surprise. Bean Surprise. Carrot Surprise. Why are you always so surprised when my garden produces?'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

Shark Bomb

Monk Parrot.

"Aw, so cute - scooter's running in his sleep again."

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

Can You Dance?

'If the election was held today, would you be surprised?'

'Here comes Stewy! Haha! This surprise is gonna kill him!'

'Nope, honey... Not many Injuns out there today... Just one BIG one.'

"It's all fun and games until El Piñata strikes back."

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

'-with every bottle comes our free Jujitsu course!'

"...as of noon today, we became a non-profit making organisation."

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

'£5000 overdrawn. . . Only kidding, but I did cure your hiccups.'

A surprisingly challenging resolution. This year my resolution is to leave well enough alone.