Surgery Jester Pillows

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

Ski kicker.

'Where does it hurt?'

Dentist Trip

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

Show Jumping Tantrums

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

Nil By Ear

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'

"We're trying to save your husband."

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

"Got it!"

Nurse cautioning a patient

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

"Pick a file, any file." Dr Collins ability to put nervous patients at ease was legendary.

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

'I wouldn't wait too long, for a limited time banks are offering low interest loans on coronary bypass surgery.'

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

Late entry in the Hop, Skip and Jump event!

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

The last 'take your mother to work' day.

'You mean medical science hasn't come up with a cure for common cooties?'

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'

'Actually, the loud ringing has stopped, now I hear knocking.'