Surgery Jester Pillows

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

Ski kicker.

'Where does it hurt?'

Dentist Trip

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

Show Jumping Tantrums

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

Nurse cautioning a patient

"Got it!"

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'

Nil By Ear

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

"We're trying to save your husband."

'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'

"Pick a file, any file." Dr Collins ability to put nervous patients at ease was legendary.

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'Jill, come take a look at Mr. Bolinder's EKG!'

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

'I wouldn't wait too long, for a limited time banks are offering low interest loans on coronary bypass surgery.'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

'You mean medical science hasn't come up with a cure for common cooties?'

The last 'take your mother to work' day.

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

Late entry in the Hop, Skip and Jump event!

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'