Surgery Jesters Pillows

'He's had so many operations, I'm putting in a zip!'

"The first one's just a warning."

"I hate performance review season."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'I take it his performance review went well.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

"Got it!"

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'

Nil By Ear

"We're trying to save your husband."

Nurse cautioning a patient

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'I wouldn't wait too long, for a limited time banks are offering low interest loans on coronary bypass surgery.'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

"I'll have my people call your people."

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

The last 'take your mother to work' day.

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"