Operation Room Jester Pillows

"Got it!"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Say, please.'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

"We're trying to save your husband."

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'

'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'Jill, come take a look at Mr. Bolinder's EKG!'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

'I wouldn't wait too long, for a limited time banks are offering low interest loans on coronary bypass surgery.'

'There's a cake in the Drs. lounge. Happy 5,000th surgery!'

The last 'take your mother to work' day.

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

'Lunch!'

'I stopped taking the medicine because I prefer the original disease to the side effects.'

'Actually, the loud ringing has stopped, now I hear knocking.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'