Operating Room Jokester Pillows

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

'Say, please.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Fortunately, we have an excellent selection!"

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

"Open mike night"

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

Plastic Surgery

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

'Doctor, I don't think the five-second rule applies to transplant organs.'

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.