Surgeon's Apprentice Gifts

"Firstly, have you ever had an appendix out before?"

"Hi-yah!"

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Education and Apprenticeships

Will work for Food Network.

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

A butcher and his apprentice.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Builder's School

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

'Bill, you messed up again. You built the second floor on top of the third floor.'