Surfing Buddy Gifts

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

"Don't attack surfers! You're giving us all a bad name and encouraging culling!"

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Bike Rides

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'Could you wear this? You're scaring away the fish.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

"Maybe next time you won't drink so much lake water."

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

'Now cut that out!'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"It's not a bear, sweetie. It's the pizza."

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

'They said before they start biting do we practice catch and release?'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

'I guess the transplant went ok - I just got a love letter from my new liver!'

Old School Mustaches

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

Signs you may be friends with a sheep....

'This plumber you recommended...mate of yours, is he?'

You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.