Supporter With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"I've had enough of character building, Dad. Can I support a successful team now?"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Applause

Dog Dressed to Eat

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Pin the blame on the donkey.

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"And I suppose you expect me to pick that up?"

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"I just wish the Earth was as beautiful to live on as it is to look at... It's right behind me, isn't it?"

"...and in conclusion..."

"He's starting to flag a bit"

The Family Joules: Part 3

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Paper or plastic?"

"The world revolves around my cat."

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

"Religion, politics, sex...in this part of the world every cartoonist is free to draw whatever he wants!"

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

'Actually, we don't like the term 'cannibal', we prefer to be called 'homovores'.'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

"Make it look like an accident"

"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."