Support Services Gifts

'I know! I know! But if I can beat chocolate, you can beat heroin!'

The Samaritans - "Could you hold, while I see if I can find a window for Tuesday."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Computer Room.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Geek fairies

Torn-Off Mouse.

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Not much money, glory, or praise

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

"Sorry, Pete, but Bill is now my 'go-to' guy. Until further notice, you're my 'anybody-but' guy."

Couple

"Houston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Tampa, Juneau, Honolulu, we have a problem."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'