Supplement Cynic Pillows

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"...He broke your heart, did he? Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming!"

'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

'The dip in profits here is attributed to the purchase of this projector and screen.'

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Obama builds own gallows.

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'What you need is some negative growth.'

"Where's that special cartridge we use to print campaign promises...the one with disappearing ink?"

'Stock prices are down; Bond prices are down; North Korea are threatening nuclear war...have a nice night's sleep.'

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'Here's an over-the-counter prescription for your nerves. Have your bartender fill it.'

'Let's talk about your smoking problem.'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

Too Good to be true - 50c.

Entering Clogsted.