Supermarket Trips T-Shirts

"Dear customers, we are pleased to announce that in five minutes, everything in store will be drastically reduced."

'Whatever's easier for you to carry.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Important Food Groups

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Dad Trophies

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Everything's gone up."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Witches Checkout.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Unusual Offers

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Diet considerations.'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Personal Assistants.

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.