Supermarket Snacker Pillows

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Super Heroes.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

Complex Carbs

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"We grind our own catnip."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

Cookie Thief

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

'No, I'm NOT break dancing.'

Self Service, Self Denial

"Today is catch-your-own day."

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

'I'm giving my tortoise a white knuckle ride!'

Supermarket Aisles.

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'