Gourmet Snacker Pillows

"We grind our own catnip."

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

Cheeseboard mouse trap

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

The drinks were expensive, but at least the nuts were complimentary.

Mr. Snak: Guarantee - Nothing at Mr. Snack has the minimum daily requirement of anything.

"The bagels are better in New York."

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

The four major food groups.

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

"We love your desserts...they're the most photogenic in town!"

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

Self Service, Self Denial

Supermarket Aisles.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Salsa on a Stick.

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.