Gourmet Snapper Pillows

"We love your desserts...they're the most photogenic in town!"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Menu Dating

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"The bagels are better in New York."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'How was the squid?'

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

'My French is not so good.'

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"What's the 'Chef's Surprise'? That's his reaction when you actually eat it."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

Roadkill Restaurant

"Sauted lard, please."

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"We grind our own catnip."

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"Tonight's prix-fixe meme features something crunchy, followed by something leafy, then chewy, then meaty, and finally something sugary."