Supermarket Safari Leader Gifts

Aisle 2: Stuff to help you crap.

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Only One Item or Fewer.

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Supermarket Merge

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

Artificial Isle

Biker chopper shopper

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

Large Very Fresh Eggs

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

Super express lane for working mothers only!

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Wild fruit

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

'Smooth Mustard' and 'Coarse mustard'

"Great idea boss! Keeps kids occupied and hooked up to a generator powers the store's lights!!"

Bobsleigh practice.

'Try looking on the bright side - they could save you a trip to the supermarket.'

"There it sat, still as night, in the bagging area ..."

Product Placement in the Wild...

UK supermarket to employ 20,000: 'Don't forget madam, if you spend over ?40 we'll give you a member of staff to take home with you.'