Sunscreen Connoisseur T-Shirts

"What's the strongest after-sun you sell?"

'Thank God for sunscreen.'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Beach flirting

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

S.P.F. 1,000

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

"What're you talking about? I love the beach."

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Man sunbathing on the beach.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Worst case of dry scalp ever!"

Botox sharpei

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'Botox so soon, Master?'