Sunlight Chef T-Shirts

Man roasting his satay by the sun.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

An intergalactic oat bran cluster, about to significantly lower Earth's average cholesterol level.

Sandwich snob.

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

"Sauted lard, please."

'Blimey, how old is this stilton?' 'Let;s put it this way...it used to be cheddar.'

Solar Range.

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

"Burgers ready in 6 hours!"

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

"This isn't just any old food wine. This is the foodies' food wine."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

"Jean-Pierre, homemade caviar for table six, please!"

'Thanks, I found the cheesecloth. Can you recommend a nice wine to serve with it?'

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

"Apart from writing your new cookery book what else have you been up to?"

Christmas canape?

'Sue, the poltergeist has made us another cake.'