Sizzling Chef T-Shirts

BBQ

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Witch's Brew.

Better Not Squash.

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Stupid Microwave

Amy Sedaris

Anti-inflammation recipes

Tzatzikicicle

"Tastes great, less killing!"

Sushi Train Set.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

'What the devil is that?

Artichoking victim

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

Sandwich snob.

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Spatula Conductor

"Sauted lard, please."