Sporty Chef T-Shirts

"Al dente!"

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Keith Floyd.

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Witch's Brew.

Better Not Squash.

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Sushi Train Set.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

Baker

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

"I was in a different place then."

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

Football Pudding

Pizza Fencing

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'Come now, Mr Symes. I am a Master Chef. I'll admit the steaks are high. But then so are the rewards.'

MasterWitch

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that,'

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

Lobster potion.

Kitchen chef

"Ideally, you want the dough to rise to about thirty-five thousand feet."